As the scheduled c-section date for our new baby approaches, I find myself anticipating how much life is about to change. Before Emily was born, I was so anxious and excited to meet her! Since the last few weeks of pregnancy aren't really enjoyable for any woman, I woke up every morning hoping that it would be the day! This time around, we've had November 17th circled on our calendars for months. Yes, there was always (and still is, I suppose) the chance that this little one would come early, and I had moments where I wondered (due to my insanely busy fall) whether this would be the case. But in my mind, I was always planning on this baby coming on a particular date, so the anticipation this time around has been a little different.
Now that this date is almost here, I'm once again anxious and excited. But this time, I'm not really that anxious about the arrival of a newborn. In fact, it's my hope and plan that I ENJOY our new daughter's infancy more than I did with Emily. I questioned every decision when Emily was a baby, responded to every cry, and was - to be perfectly honest - a little astonished when she hit her first birthday and I had managed to keep her alive that long. There were many times that my family exchanged looks with one another (yes, I saw them) when I demanded that Emily be woken up from a nap exactly on time, or not fed until she was scheduled to be. (Though, to be fair, my rigid schedule had our baby sleeping through the night by eight weeks and never looking back). And, my poor husband more than once had to remind me that our daughter was a baby and not a robot when she wasn't doing what a particular book said that she should be doing. This time around, I'm hoping to be a little more relaxed, and to spend more time cuddling our new daughter even if the books say she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own!
My anxiousness this time around is focused more on the other members of my family. I worry about losing what little free time Eric and I manage to spend with one another when Emily is asleep or in her crib for quiet time. I worry about focusing even more of our energy and time on our children, and not paying enough attention to each other. And, while I think that in the long run, Emily will love having a sister (I know I love my own sister SO much), these are going to be a tough couple of months for her. She is going to have to adjust to a new baby, less attention from me, and a move to Pennsylvania, leaving behind life as she knows it here in Grand Rapids. She's an easy going kid, and I'm sure she'll be fine, but I've been conscious to try and enjoy these last few days of time with her, trying in some way to prepare her for what's ahead, and stock up on our time spent together. To that end, here are a couple of pictures of Emily from this past weekend while she is still an only child!