I've decided to write this post and make public some sad news because it's part of our life, and sometimes sharing helps. Eric and I were thrilled to learn quite a few weeks ago that we were expecting our second child. By our calculations, baby number two would arrive the first week in July, meaning that Emily and baby number two would be exactly two and half years apart. It seemed perfect, and we knew we were ready to do this baby thing all over again and grow our family. We got Emily a t-shirt that said 'I'm going to be a big sister' and planned to have her announce our big news to our family this weekend at Thanksgiving.
But instead, things didn't go according to our plans. For whatever reason, God decided this wasn't the right time or the right baby for us. We found out yesterday that I'm experiencing a miscarriage; an ultrasound revealed that this baby wasn't nearly as big as it should be for how far along I'm supposed to be. We were sad, obviously, and we still are. I already miss this little person, and the place I was imaging he or she would hold in our family. But I'm also filled, appropriately enough, with a sense of thankfulness. We're already a family. I have a husband who is strong and supportive, who loves me and listens to me, and who I'm glad I get to spend every day of my life with. And together, we're already parents. We have the most wonderful, loving, and vibrant little girl who gives lots of hugs and kisses, and frequently walks around the house saying "mommy...are you? Are you mommy?". And though we want another child, if that's not in the Lord's plans for us, that's okay because my heart is already overflowing with love for my family and the blessings that God has bestowed upon us. So during this week of Thanksgiving, yes, I'm sad, but also thankful.