Breaking news on the baby front: at 1 week of age, Emily can...wait for it...hold her own bottle while eating! Yes, it's true, and she did so for such a long period of time that I was able to produce compelling video evidence. Seen here with her special Pittsburghian trainer, Emily's abilities are undeniable.
I know, we were as surprised as you are. Where she got this ability is a mystery, but one thing is clear: Emily is headed straight for the 2026 Olympics.